I just don't know.......

Sometimes I feel like I am trapped. I just don't know what to do about it. My health is not the best and I feel I have let my husband down at times because I am not able to get out and work like I have all my life, sometimes I just don't know how we are going to make it to the next payday. I have been denied disability even though my doctor has disabled me, the reason you ask, well is because I wasn't disabled before 2009. I have worked all my life, sometimes 3 jobs at a time to make ends meet for my family. I was a single mom for several years, I have never until now had to depend on anyone else to support me and I just don't know how I feel about it, grateful yes, but also worthless and a burden at times. It amazes me that people who are not a citizen or have alcohol or drug addiction or get this, I know someone who actually went in to MHMR and told them they chased cars and barked at them, got disability, HE LIED. I was told by 3, yes 3 lawyers and someone who works for Social Security to sell everything, divorce my husband and I might qualify for SSI...hmmmm, isn't that FRAUD?? I am not wanting a hand out, I am just wanting what I have paid in to Social Security for 43 years but it's not going to happen. I am not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, just doing a little venting. I have to go, I have got to pay what bills I can out of this paycheck and try to figure out how I am going to pay the rest...ttyl.